When I was a little girl I wondered, Why are the most telling human experiences the ones never shared?


I could see crowds clamoring after Lazarus, stinking and dazed, as he walked home from the tomb — Small children smacking his back and bounding away in victory; Friends stunned into the distance of aborted grief; Neighbors vying for the best souvenir of intimate contact.


Lazarus did not return from death to his village — he brought death with him into the marketplace: Never again to interact with his fellows without the specter of Hell standing behind him; Never in solitude another stroll beside the lake; Never any thought expressed free of the listener's demand for Meaning.

Lazarus could no longer be Lazarus.


Did this silence him? Did he understand these things on his way home, or did he learn them in weeks and months as he tried to explain, strained at questions with answers no longer bound by doctrine?


What did he learn when he sought celebration with his friends and family and discovered that he, Lazarus, had lost his place in their world because they had buried him? Lazarus was no more. The man beside them was a freak they did not know and who could not know himself in a world devoid of genuine relationship.


How long did Lazarus live in this limbo? How did he die the second time? Was he grateful for his podium or did he suffer mute, a pawn in a great game of disregard for one man?


We have no information about any of these things, and it is unimportant if our ignorance is due to Lazarus's silence or to a loss of tradition. What is meaningful to the Human Condition in any story is not a theology enlarged in scope by narrative detail. It is that provocative thing which results in the most-original spiritual thought in the largest number of individuals for the greatest period of time.


What is important here is That We Do Not Know.



© 1995 / 4 August 2007, Sugarpie Rabbit Draft published here
In the Face of Love: The Book of the Beloved

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